An insight to the mind of an individual suffering from mental illness, coping skills, and ways to overcome

The Vent

I just want to be happy

Anonymous

Staying positive in a sea of unfortunate events begins to take a toll if there’s no peace…my story begins in 2015. 21years old fresh into life I meet a woman who I believe is the love of my life. I married her. We had ups, we had downs but I appreciate every lesson she gave me from opening up and getting out of my shell to communicating and appreciating the little things. She helped me become the person I am today but things went downhill fast. Fast-forward, my wife at the time fell ill in 2020 thus leaving me with a responsibility I wasn’t prepared for and never thought I had to be prepared for…..parenthood. I never wanted to be a parent but became one when I married my wife. When she fell ill, the sole responsibility of her child fell on me, which was new to me because I’ve expressed not wanting to be a parent multiple times to my wife so she made it as easy as possible for us and it worked. I took care of my step son solely for 3 months while my wife was ill. Through virtual school, a major growth spirt, and having to move out of our apartment all by myself. I had 2 major panic attacks during this time. I moved my son into a safe space but his mother wasn’t welcome there upon her discharge from the hospital. Once agin another problem I had to solve. I had to grow up fast. In a way I feel like my youth was taken from me. I never got a chance to be a young carefree adult ever. I find a safe space for my ex wife to recover as I still mind my step son. Remember the panic attacks? I told my mother about them she flew out to where I was and took me back home with her. I gave my step son back to his mother and moved 3 states away and begin the divorce process. Things are smoothing out….. or so I think. I Start my new life still staying in contact with my step son periodically. Time goes by and I find out my step son is being both physically and mentally abused by my ex wife’s family and there nothing my now crippled ex wife can do about it because she’s getting abused as well and have no where else to go. I make the executive decision to move them 3 states away with me until his mom gets on her feet….literally. she eventually does and her and I move on with life. I meet another lady that’s much older than me but age has never been a factor for me. My ex wife is 7 years older than me. We fall for each other but it didn’t work out either. I experienced something I thought I would never go though… domestic violence… it’s safe to say that relationship didn’t work out but we had moved in together and was forced to live as roommates. Time goes on and I meet the love of my life but my “roommate ” still hasn’t moved on. She constantly spills her feelings for me but I’m already done hearing it. This woman is one like I never met before. She’s a beautiful soul that I wanna cherish forever. Just the thought of her brightens my day. Her smile can brighten any rainy day. She’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met. I love how she advocates for the ones who have no voice, the ones who get lost in the crowd, ones that no one sees. She makes sure she sees them. This woman and I are meant to be but both are in unfortunate circumstances. As much as I love this woman my “roommate ” still hasn’t let go and my lady is going through an emotional Rollercoaster of a divorce. In a way we’re both going through the same shit but better days are to come I know it. As we spend more time together and our relationship blossoms, it gets easier. We both have goals that we want to see each other achieve after these rocky times. Things are indeed getting easier and I appreciate every step but there’s still a lot of growth and changes that need to occur before true happiness. My story doesn’t end here, there’s a lot more to go but I can say I’m much happier now than before. My son is safe and thriving. I co-parent with his mother, and my son is happier than he’s ever been in a very long time. I appreciate all my small blessings and I welcome my future endeavors with an open mind and open heart.

Share The Blog

Related Blogs

Coming Out

By: Anonymous I met this amazing man and we have been seeing each other for the last 7 months. It has been some of the happiest moments of my life. I find myself smiling more, venturing out more, and just

Share The Blog
Read More »

By: Rob Chaos Every once in a while my idiot sences go off. Now and then my face comes off. Turns around and tells me to walk away. Here and now I stand crying and panicking because I let some asshole

Share The Blog
Read More »

I’m tired

Anonymous For the past few months I have been struggling to be myself. I don’t know who this person is, but I don’t like them. I find myself sleeping in more, declining going out with my friends, and I haven’t

Share The Blog
Read More »

Coming Out

By: Anonymous I met this amazing man and we have been seeing each other for the last 7 months. It has been some of the happiest moments of my life. I find myself smiling more, venturing out more, and just

Share The Blog
Read More »

By: Rob Chaos Every once in a while my idiot sences go off. Now and then my face comes off. Turns around and tells me to walk away. Here and now I stand crying and panicking because I let some asshole

Share The Blog
Read More »